"Am I enough?"
You may quickly reply "Yes, of course!" Then you walk away, second-guess yourself, and quickly find 20 compelling reasons why you are not, and the answers morph into "Am I?" or "Gosh, how can I be enough if I'm so often coming up short?"
A family struggle recently went public. In its midst, I questioned if my choices and actions were adequate. I jettisoned back and forth between Am I doing enough? to Am I doing too much? Was I loving all parties involved enough?, or was I not loving myself enough? The push/pull became endless.
What is it about "Am I Enough" which insinuates itself into so much of what we Do/Don't Do, Feel/Don't Feel, and Say/Don't Say? Is this even the right question?
As time passed, I approached the situation from a softer place and surrendered the outcome to God. As my ego diminished, another vantage point showed itself to Be Enough to encompass all variables: truth, understanding, and ultimately outcome.
How had I temporarily lost sight of the real question....the question which day by day and hour by hour we are charged with confronting within ourselves. I learned that the definition of "enough" leads to a trail with two paths.
The first route does not believe in yourself and circumstances arise to set you up for failure. You consistently experience feelings of inadequacy and big-time judgment. The question "Am I Enough?" is false as it stands. Examples:
"I am not smart/rich/thin... enough."
"I rely on others to tell me how valuable I am."
"When others reject me or my ideas, I am lacking."
It’s impossible to convert these statements into healthy, life-giving fuel. "Am I Enough?" is an ego question. The unstable ego wavers back and forth in its answers. When puffed up, ego boasts one way. When less self-assured, ego expresses doubt.
The second way is to believe in your personal best and not second-guessing yourself. For example:
"I am fulfilled."
"I am okay."
You consistently experience appreciation and receive positive feedback from the world. Your mindset is "enough is just right" and that feels good.
Let's re-frame the false question into a truthful, genuine question. With God beside me, can I
ever not be what I truly am? When this delicious question arrived I realized it was time to ditch the itch to step into the pit of lack. I had momentarily stepped "out of step" and remembered the way to walk "in step" towards understanding.
Would you like to move past lack and into feelings of love? Rita would love to see you!