Sucking on Lemons or Smelling the Roses?
Life's steady delivery of lemons can result in towering pileups. Ultimately, we tire of an overflowing basket of sour lemons and ask ourselves, “When will I live my life experiencing happiness and peace?"
Asking for help may seem like an admission that we are weak or even crazy. Truth: a coach can help us sort out the Pandora’s box of our thoughts and feelings such as:
“I don’t need help. I’ll get better on my own like I’ve always done."
“Talking to a coach is a waste of money and time. I’d rather spend on a new car or take a vacation."
“I admit I'm lost and confused. But I'll wait until tomorrow for those feelings to go away.”
Let's examine common misconceptions and practices when seeking professional help. I’ve worked with clients who fell into these traps before they found and hired me.
What Doesn't Work:
1. Magic Pill Advisors
We’ve finally hit rock bottom and are motivated to get outside help. We are desperate vs. motivated to get rid of pain ASAP. Our first attempt to locate a coach is an online search. Alas, we’re attracted to Jolly Roger and his message. Jolly has a “one size fits all” formula and an online course. Online coaches may offer specific insights to help us grow, but what's essential is to discern if their focus is on you or their own bottom line. Face-to-face coaching requires a true professional who holds us accountable in real-time. We, in turn, hold a coach accountable to maintain high professional standards.
2. Sudden Aha Moments Reversing Long-Term Struggle
We would love to get rid of that nasty habit of being angry or lack of self-worth we’ve been dealing with since age seven. Some coaches imagine altering someone’s mindset instantaneously and wholly without considering readiness and motivation. The possibility that change may happen depends on a client’s ability to apply the 5 C’s: Curiosity, Creativity and Courage with Commitment and Consistency.
3. What You Want to Hear Gurus
There are coaches who agree with us and whip up a quick response to make us feel good. The role of a coach is to focus on your growth and well-being. Honest conversations with a coach involve some degree of acknowledgment that current circumstances and our existing ability to cope need fine tuning. Coaching is about using our strengths and building upon them to help move us through suffering into freedom.
4. Over-Promising /Under-Delivering Coaches
It is vital to understand a coach's philosophy and mission. Some coaches dish out advice without genuinely listening and understanding the problem at hand. This passive approach doesn’t work. Clients prefer real-world assignments. They hunger to see results. Transformation occurs when coaches encourage possibilities, offer fresh clarity, and hold space for clients.
5. Set-Up for Failure Coaches
When we use desperation instead of motivation, our choices result from a tired and confused place. We seek someone else to provide what we have failed to do on our own. Some coaches prey on individuals who are in this sore spot, and grab your attention using buzz words or a video with claims to remedy your troubles. These scam-style coaches string along clients. They showboat themselves, and convince the hurting and vulnerable to spend money on a follow-up coaching package.
Although a do-it-yourself-healing method seems self-directed and less expensive, there are pivotal times when we are stalled and require knowledgeable input. We need someone to walk us through poor choices and mismanagement of priorities. We've lost perspective and need to re-evaluate ill-fitting, worn out values. Hiring a coach who specializes in our struggle is a great first step. Evaluate their website to determine if their mission resonates with mind and soul. Look for legit testimonials on Google. Avoid coaches who sell hype and tout outrageous success. Authentic coaches help move us forward, feel better and grow in healthy ways.
Is it time to grow?
With the right help we replace withering lemons for blooming flowers. There are plenty of reputable coaches who care about building a solid relationship and support our well-being. Work only with coaches who offer growth guidance. Avoid substituting coaching for professional therapy. Don’t hesitate to call a coach and request a 15-minute free call. Discuss your needs to determine if the "talking energy" is a good fit. Do you discern that the coach has your best interest at heart? Lastly, use common sense. If your gut says something doesn’t feel right, move on.